Whatever you do, always give 100%, unless you’re donating blood. O.O
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They say “don’t try this at home”, so I’m coming over to your house to try it.
The only exercise I get is letting my imagination run wild
Hi meant to behave... but there were too many other intriguing options.
You’re supposed to be doing something else right now, aren’t you?
I don’t have an inner child, I have an inner old person who wants everyone to be Quiet.
)
Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.
Do y’all remember, before the Internet, that people thought the cause of stupidity was a lack of access to information?
The irony of all this is, the Internet was created to save us time.
I came online to check the weather... that was 12 years ago.
Stalking is when two people go on a long romantic walk together, but only one of them knows about it.
Do you realize that the jackhammer was a ground breaking invention?
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
I think, therefore I’ve had my coffee.
I’m on the new Gin & tonic diet. So far I’ve lost 3 days.
Cats don’t usually like to cuddle, but when they do you’re wearing all black and about to leave for work.
Santa saw your Instagram pictures. O.O
If you don’t have anything nice to say... sit next to me and we’ll make fun of people together.
I’m not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.
3 things you can’t do; 1. You can’t count your hair. 2. You can’t wash your eyes with soap. 3. You can’t breathe with your tongue out. -
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