Re-entering the single life (Officially) Day 1

Lostboy_1991 said:
Oh boy another blog! Well I suppose i should start of with how I got to be single again.

3 Years ago I met a girl on League of Legends (Of all places!) and we hit it off with one problem. I'm in The Northwest United States and She's in Eastern Canada. I was working as a Corrections Officer at the time and made (For a single guy in his early-mid 20's) pretty good money.

I visit her for the first time for about two weeks and she was adorable and shy and just so cute I cuddled her for practically two weeks straight (and spoiled her)and even got my very first tattoo with her. When I got back to Boise she tried to break up with me about a week later blaming herself but I told her we could do it if we both work hard at it.

We decided to try to be together and 6 months later I quit that Corrections job and tried to come over to kinda set the foundations for a life in Canada. Naive me thought it would be easy but I get stopped at the boarder and given only 3 months to be there.

Those were the best 3 months of the whole relationship. She introduced me to weed we had a lot of sex, we were in love. I went back home with very tearful goodbyes and I had to try to pick up my life in Boise. About a week later she tried to break up with me and I couldn't, I said I needed her and all that so we stayed together.

Fast forward about 3 months I got a job at Domino's to get some kind of income and she came down to visit and meet my family. It was nice and I have no complaints and she wanted to try living in the States. After another 2 months she came down to live and within about 3 weeks got into an awful fight with my family and immediately wanted to go back and I was out of money. I still loved her so I sold my Desktop, my PS4, My Car, everything I owned to get us back to Canada.

This is when the plane started losing altitude. We got into disputes (mostly starting from her) with roommate after roommate and in one summer we moved 3 times including the move across the continent. Needless to say I was flat broke without two pennies to rub together and she never worked a day in her life before.

She started to get distant and cold. Refusing to cuddle like we did before and treated me more like a kid than an equal. I did my best to support her but nothing would get her to look at me the same way. I tried to open up to her emotionally but she got disgusted with me whenever I tried and that just shut me down. By the time 6 months had passed I had to go back to the States or risk being deported and not allowed back.

A week later she tried to break up with me again saying it was too hard but i convinced her to wait and try one more time.

I got a good job as far as call centers go getting in on a "groundbreaking" thing for that site and company being one of the first five "On the Phone Supervisors" that took all the super bull-shitty calls from customers and got ok money for it, not as good as Corrections but at least I wasn't gonna get stabbed working at a call center.

The 2016 election rolls around and I was an ABC voter (Anything But Clinton). She hated Trump with a passion and threatened to break up with me if I voted for him. (I ended up voting for him but I was so scared of losing her I lied about it).

She wanted to break up with me again and this time we did break up for about two weeks before getting back together. I had gotten a car so I could go back and forth to work without having to wait around the office for 3 hours for a ride in that two week span and didn't tell her about it.

About a month after I got that awesome promotion I visited her for about 2 weeks again and told her about the car (After they took more in a payment than I was expecting) and she got livid with me again and wanted to send me right back home (Like she could afford to buy an impromptu plane ticket for that distance).

We worked it out a bit and treated the visit more as a friend visit.

For about 6 more months we had our 3rd and final try to live together. She got a decent job and an Apartment and I brought what I could to help and even found a work from home job I could do.

Now we're getting into the nose dive. I got there, helped her move into her apartment and started trying to do my work from home but we really hadn't gotten back into the couple or relationship part. She never wanted to cuddle and sex was only because we thought the other wanted it. Eventually I got lonely and went to a place much like here and found a femboy and had my first bisexual experience (Which she said way back when was ok if i fooled around with a guy).

Well it wasn't ok and she wanted me out of the apartment and I had no way to get out so I called in a favor from my parents (who were having their own financial issues at the time) and the got me a plane ticket. She gets mad that I didn't talk with her first we cancel the plane ticket and try one more time to work it out.

Well things didn't change and I started looking at porn sites and even browsing fetlife using her fetlife account which she made in front of me using my phone number (which I was ok with at the time but thought we were both going to make accounts). I found one of her friends and she caught me doing lewd things to her lewd pictures (after the fact) and of course embarrassed and ashamed me tried to lie about it..

Then it was pretty much done, she knew it, she told me, I knew it. I had used my last paycheck there to buy a plane ticket and we were just waiting for the flight date.

When that date came We said a somber goodbye and on the way to the airport I messaged her that I wanted to fix it I could stay for another month while we fixed it but she told me to go home. When we got home i reconnected with a different ex who happened to also be one of my very best friends and someone I could talk to without fear of being judged.

The ex I had just broken up with asked me if I was talking to her and, trying not to lie to her anymore, I told her yes I was and that she was in a different part of the country now and with a new boyfriend. The ex I had just broken up with didn't believe me and when I tried to stay friends and end things gracefully told me "whatever, Have fun with [Best friend-ex's name]"

So I'm here Single, trying to pick up a shattered life, no longer believing in myself as a man and trying to meet new friends and carry on.

The good news is I have 2 job interviews tomorrow that are very likely to hire me.

I just have to figure out rides if I get one of those jobs but that's a step to take after getting the job.
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Oh god, I have no idea what to write to you after reading all that! You have been through a lot, but time to look forward now! Good luck with the jobs, and go out and meet lots of new people both here and in real life. Don't let being with the wrong person affect your self believe, look after yourself. PS - I am on Fetlife too lol xxx
 
Lol I did get my own fetlife account. I realized after the bisexual experience I hadn't explored my sexuality all that much. So while I'm enjoying being single I'm going to do just that and find out a bit more about myself.
 
Lostboy_1991 said:
Lol I did get my own fetlife account. I realized after the bisexual experience I hadn't explored my sexuality all that much. So while I'm enjoying being single I'm going to do just that and find out a bit more about myself.
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Ha ha ha, well you can find me on Fetlife too lol, I am enjoying exploring that side of myself as well, however I am getting totally overwhelmed with messages from Dom's, all wanting me to be their sub lol. It's driving me to despair, but I am still having lots of fun with it, and enjoying "the journey", have fun and enjoy this time xxx
 
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Lol According to that bdsm quizz everyone does I'm a switch. I don't really like Domming people all that much but It's sexy sometimes.
 
Lostboy_1991 said:
Lol According to that bdsm quizz everyone does I'm a switch. I don't really like Domming people all that much but It's sexy sometimes.
Click to expand...

I'm a switch too, and that is true in my case, I do love a good power struggle lol xxx
 
Lostboy_1991 said:
Oh boy another blog! Well I suppose i should start of with how I got to be single again.

3 Years ago I met a girl on League of Legends (Of all places!) and we hit it off with one problem. I'm in The Northwest United States and She's in Eastern Canada. I was working as a Corrections Officer at the time and made (For a single guy in his early-mid 20's) pretty good money.

I visit her for the first time for about two weeks and she was adorable and shy and just so cute I cuddled her for practically two weeks straight (and spoiled her)and even got my very first tattoo with her. When I got back to Boise she tried to break up with me about a week later blaming herself but I told her we could do it if we both work hard at it.

We decided to try to be together and 6 months later I quit that Corrections job and tried to come over to kinda set the foundations for a life in Canada. Naive me thought it would be easy but I get stopped at the boarder and given only 3 months to be there.

Those were the best 3 months of the whole relationship. She introduced me to weed we had a lot of sex, we were in love. I went back home with very tearful goodbyes and I had to try to pick up my life in Boise. About a week later she tried to break up with me and I couldn't, I said I needed her and all that so we stayed together.

Fast forward about 3 months I got a job at Domino's to get some kind of income and she came down to visit and meet my family. It was nice and I have no complaints and she wanted to try living in the States. After another 2 months she came down to live and within about 3 weeks got into an awful fight with my family and immediately wanted to go back and I was out of money. I still loved her so I sold my Desktop, my PS4, My Car, everything I owned to get us back to Canada.

This is when the plane started losing altitude. We got into disputes (mostly starting from her) with roommate after roommate and in one summer we moved 3 times including the move across the continent. Needless to say I was flat broke without two pennies to rub together and she never worked a day in her life before.

She started to get distant and cold. Refusing to cuddle like we did before and treated me more like a kid than an equal. I did my best to support her but nothing would get her to look at me the same way. I tried to open up to her emotionally but she got disgusted with me whenever I tried and that just shut me down. By the time 6 months had passed I had to go back to the States or risk being deported and not allowed back.

A week later she tried to break up with me again saying it was too hard but i convinced her to wait and try one more time.

I got a good job as far as call centers go getting in on a "groundbreaking" thing for that site and company being one of the first five "On the Phone Supervisors" that took all the super bull-shitty calls from customers and got ok money for it, not as good as Corrections but at least I wasn't gonna get stabbed working at a call center.

The 2016 election rolls around and I was an ABC voter (Anything But Clinton). She hated Trump with a passion and threatened to break up with me if I voted for him. (I ended up voting for him but I was so scared of losing her I lied about it).

She wanted to break up with me again and this time we did break up for about two weeks before getting back together. I had gotten a car so I could go back and forth to work without having to wait around the office for 3 hours for a ride in that two week span and didn't tell her about it.

About a month after I got that awesome promotion I visited her for about 2 weeks again and told her about the car (After they took more in a payment than I was expecting) and she got livid with me again and wanted to send me right back home (Like she could afford to buy an impromptu plane ticket for that distance).

We worked it out a bit and treated the visit more as a friend visit.

For about 6 more months we had our 3rd and final try to live together. She got a decent job and an Apartment and I brought what I could to help and even found a work from home job I could do.

Now we're getting into the nose dive. I got there, helped her move into her apartment and started trying to do my work from home but we really hadn't gotten back into the couple or relationship part. She never wanted to cuddle and sex was only because we thought the other wanted it. Eventually I got lonely and went to a place much like here and found a femboy and had my first bisexual experience (Which she said way back when was ok if i fooled around with a guy).

Well it wasn't ok and she wanted me out of the apartment and I had no way to get out so I called in a favor from my parents (who were having their own financial issues at the time) and the got me a plane ticket. She gets mad that I didn't talk with her first we cancel the plane ticket and try one more time to work it out.

Well things didn't change and I started looking at porn sites and even browsing fetlife using her fetlife account which she made in front of me using my phone number (which I was ok with at the time but thought we were both going to make accounts). I found one of her friends and she caught me doing lewd things to her lewd pictures (after the fact) and of course embarrassed and ashamed me tried to lie about it..

Then it was pretty much done, she knew it, she told me, I knew it. I had used my last paycheck there to buy a plane ticket and we were just waiting for the flight date.

When that date came We said a somber goodbye and on the way to the airport I messaged her that I wanted to fix it I could stay for another month while we fixed it but she told me to go home. When we got home i reconnected with a different ex who happened to also be one of my very best friends and someone I could talk to without fear of being judged.

The ex I had just broken up with asked me if I was talking to her and, trying not to lie to her anymore, I told her yes I was and that she was in a different part of the country now and with a new boyfriend. The ex I had just broken up with didn't believe me and when I tried to stay friends and end things gracefully told me "whatever, Have fun with [Best friend-ex's name]"

So I'm here Single, trying to pick up a shattered life, no longer believing in myself as a man and trying to meet new friends and carry on.

The good news is I have 2 job interviews tomorrow that are very likely to hire me.

I just have to figure out rides if I get one of those jobs but that's a step to take after getting the job.
Click to expand...
Good Anankos! Sounds like you need a break from relationships for awhile, at least long enough to pick up the remains and figure things out. If you ever want to talk, I'm right here. I hope you have better luck in the future!
 
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