How common is wife sharing?

shelly2inme

shelly2inme

Member
OFC Regular
My husband started to become interested in the so called "hotwife" concept about around the time that our son moved out on his own. In time he got me interested in the concept and we both read a lot about it. I had heard of wife swapping but the "hotwife" concept was new to me. We have been into the lifestyle for over 10 years and since then it seems like more and more couples are interested. In our case it resulted in an open marriage with terms we both agree to.

I am curious about how many wives or girlfriend here have been shared? How many wish their guy would share them? How many of you guys wish you could coax your wife or girlfriend into trying it?
 
Fuzzyballz86 said:
why be in a relationship in the first place.
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If the only point of the relationship is sex then no sense getting married. But being married is about a lot more than sex. On the other hand why is being married supposed to mean that you give up sexual variety? Why is it ok for a wife to eat at a place where some guy is a chief and makes wonderful food that stimulates her olfactory nerves but it is wrong or upsetting if the same guy gives her pleasure by stimulating tactile nerves in her clit? Why can only one person be the source of any kind of pleasure. And if we love our mate and we know it would be great pleasure for them to fuck someone else why not encourage it? When we swap with another couple that are great friends we all want everyone to have fun. No need for jealousy if you really love your mate.
 
shelly2inme said:
My husband started to become interested in the so called "hotwife" concept about around the time that our son moved out on his own. In time he got me interested in the concept and we both read a lot about it. I had heard of wife swapping but the "hotwife" concept was new to me. We have been into the lifestyle for over 10 years and since then it seems like more and more couples are interested. In our case it resulted in an open marriage with terms we both agree to.

I am curious about how many wives or girlfriend here have been shared? How many wish their guy would share them? How many of you guys wish you could coax your wife or girlfriend into trying it?
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In our case, was not a full "wife sharing" per se, more adventurous game in a defined and organized framework
 
Ok but why get married in the first place. first off its an archaic ritual which basically can be summed up as the transfer of property, i.e father transferring ownership over to the husband. I mean the entire framework is based on superstition and backwards thinking. If people want to move from that type of close minded thinking maybe throw out marriage all together.
 
Fuzzyballz86 said:
Ok but why get married in the first place. first off its an archaic ritual which basically can be summed up as the transfer of property, i.e father transferring ownership over to the husband. I mean the entire framework is based on superstition and backwards thinking. If people want to move from that type of close minded thinking maybe throw out marriage all together.
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this is quite an archaic and simplistic view of marriage
 
No, you just think that marriage doesn't mean what it actually stands for. You want to justify your lifestyle by making marriage something more then what it is, transfer of property. why do you think in the medieval times a marriage wasn't fully consummated until the prince, or, king, or, husband came out with the white bedsheets with blood on it proving the woman was indeed a virgin, hint the reason women wore white dresses at weddings signifying that they were a pure virgin. Now i have no qualms with two grown consenting adults doing whatever they want, but why get married. You and your mate can be just as happy together doing the same thing without having to get a piece of paper stating yall are together.
 
It is sad to my that my topic somehow got off track and resulted in a bit of a debate. Not that I think debate is a bad thing. We can all learn from others if we keep an open mind. But I think what took place here is that the topic got shifted to "why get married?" That is a fair topic all by itself but not what I was talking about. Nevertheless, since that sand is now in the gears I will comment on it. I am aware of the history of marriage and many cultures have various ideas.
I did not get married because there was no blood on the white dress. I was not a virgin when I met my husband and I fucked before we got married.

Really if people want to get married or not that is THEIR private decision. The motives of people from the dark ages had NOTHING to do with our motives. We got married because we love each other and wanted to raise a child together. There are legal property issues and there are community standards. My husband owned a business and in our area if we were not married it would not have been respected in that community. Also, we raised a son together and the family unit of a husband and wife and child or children gave him a stable framework.

If society had no standards or issues we both wanted to make a promise to love and care for each other for the rest of our lives. So we did not get married due to the dark ages or social pressure. We did it because we love being together and wanted to make that official.

That being said, getting back to the intended topic of this thread, "How common is wife sharing" ... I am curious about how common or rare our view is. Namely, that you can love your wife or husband and still let them enjoy sexual variety.
 
Furthermore... I got think about this after the last post and even if we drop the term "wife" and replace it with girlfriend the point that I was pursuing in the OP is the same. So, if the topic of marriage triggers other issues for some then lets just go with "how common is it for guys to share their girlfriend?"
 
shelly2inme said:
My husband started to become interested in the so called "hotwife" concept about around the time that our son moved out on his own. In time he got me interested in the concept and we both read a lot about it. I had heard of wife swapping but the "hotwife" concept was new to me. We have been into the lifestyle for over 10 years and since then it seems like more and more couples are interested. In our case it resulted in an open marriage with terms we both agree to.

I am curious about how many wives or girlfriend here have been shared? How many wish their guy would share them? How many of you guys wish you could coax your wife or girlfriend into trying it?
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It's common and i think it's hot
 
Draansquad said:
It's common and i think it's hot
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It is hot. So hot that I wonder why it is not more mainstream. The first time I tried it I agreed to do it as a bucket list event but it was so hot that I knew it was going to be a new feature to my life. My point is that it is so hot that it seems hard to imagine that it would not go mainstream. If you talk to couples that have tried it I think most agree that there is no going back and in my case I felt like I needed to tell my best friend. Within a month of her bringing it up to her husband they tried it and now feel the same way we do. Still, I don't think it is really common yet.
 
shelly2inme said:
It is hot. So hot that I wonder why it is not more mainstream. The first time I tried it I agreed to do it as a bucket list event but it was so hot that I knew it was going to be a new feature to my life. My point is that it is so hot that it seems hard to imagine that it would not go mainstream. If you talk to couples that have tried it I think most agree that there is no going back and in my case I felt like I needed to tell my best friend. Within a month of her bringing it up to her husband they tried it and now feel the same way we do. Still, I don't think it is really common yet.
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I must say thank you, i always love seeing someone else's point of view. With that being said i must apologize for going off topic. So i considered it a turn on watching porn with it in it, but couldn't honestly see my wife and i doing it. P.s great tits by the way.
 
Wow! That is a first. I have NEVER seen anyone apologize in an online thread about anything. In this case the fact that you got off topic a bit is no big deal. But my drawing attention to it and you being reasonable in your response is a big deal. Just think how much nicer the whole world would be if reasonableness was not rare. Whether it is a big thing or like this matter a small thing it rinses the sand out of the gears. So I thank you for being mature about it.

Now, on to the other part of your comment: "So i considered it a turn on watching porn with it in it, but couldn't honestly see my wife and i doing it." Your earlier comment showed a depth of understanding about how traditional views and cultural norms can impact us. That same principle is involved with this aspect just as it is with the history of marriage that you referred to.

So lets break this down and examine it. You say that it turns you on to watch porn that shows a wife being shared. That is true of MOST guys that are into sex enough to enjoy porn. So why is that? Is it a natural or unnatural excitement that makes it hot to watch a wife fucking other men? I believe that it is 100 percent natural. Men are hardwired to be stimulated by visual input. That is what makes porn so popular among men in the first place. It also stimulates women but society trains women to avoid that desire.

This realization was at the core of my husband considering the idea of sharing me in the first place. He came with me to an office part where I worked at the time and he met a guy (Jack) that had been hitting on me for almost two years. I used to complain about what a jerk the guy was and I told myself that I could not stand the guy. But when my husband met him and saw him flirt with me it turned him on rather than make him mad. He wondered why.

He also realized that I was fooling myself by telling myself that I resented his flirting because he could see chemistry at work. He also had noticed for a long time that on days when I had been around Jack I would come home feeling horny. So even though I was blocking my own feelings he realized that I had instinctive animal desires for this guy.

In his imagination he wandered into picturing me doing the guy. Again, rather than jealousy he realized it somehow turned him on. He tried to figure out why.

The reason is THE SAME REASON that it turns you on to see it in porn. In porn men get to see women that LOVE fucking. It turns guys on to see a woman really getting into it. For a wife to really get into fucking some other male it sends an added signal. She is not bound to social sexual taboos. Her love for sex pushes her beyond those concerns. So in porn guys get to see a woman like that. But my husband thought about it and realized that actually watching me fuck would be way more exciting than watching porn.

So my point is that there is a biological urge for both men and women to love sex. Men are often disappointed with sex because woman are so often socially conditioned to think that only sluts enjoy fucking. It is just jealousy that has been socially woven into the male ego that makes men sexually insecure about watching THEIR wife fuck.

In your comment you added the comment "great tits". I am glad that you like them. There is a NATURAL biological reason that you like them. Be honest, would it turn you on to watch me fuck? I do love fucking and I do really get into it. My point is that to my husband that is true whether I am his wife or not. But when we party he not only gets to see it but he can share in the event. So if I was your wife the only thing that could wreck the moment would be jealousy.

As far as your wife goes, most men think their wife would not consider it. My husband did not think I would consider it. I would have said "no way" if he just abruptly asked. But once he sorted it out in his own mind he gradually helped me understand the concept and once I really understood I did not need much coaxing. I think that would be true of most women that enjoy sex. Also, I had fantasies about doing groups of guys since I was a teen. It is a common fantasy among women but how many are going to share that with anyone and especially with their husband?
 
shelly2inme said:
Wow! That is a first. I have NEVER seen anyone apologize in an online thread about anything. In this case the fact that you got off topic a bit is no big deal. But my drawing attention to it and you being reasonable in your response is a big deal. Just think how much nicer the whole world would be if reasonableness was not rare. Whether it is a big thing or like this matter a small thing it rinses the sand out of the gears. So I thank you for being mature about it.

Now, on to the other part of your comment: "So i considered it a turn on watching porn with it in it, but couldn't honestly see my wife and i doing it." Your earlier comment showed a depth of understanding about how traditional views and cultural norms can impact us. That same principle is involved with this aspect just as it is with the history of marriage that you referred to.

So lets break this down and examine it. You say that it turns you on to watch porn that shows a wife being shared. That is true of MOST guys that are into sex enough to enjoy porn. So why is that? Is it a natural or unnatural excitement that makes it hot to watch a wife fucking other men? I believe that it is 100 percent natural. Men are hardwired to be stimulated by visual input. That is what makes porn so popular among men in the first place. It also stimulates women but society trains women to avoid that desire.

This realization was at the core of my husband considering the idea of sharing me in the first place. He came with me to an office part where I worked at the time and he met a guy (Jack) that had been hitting on me for almost two years. I used to complain about what a jerk the guy was and I told myself that I could not stand the guy. But when my husband met him and saw him flirt with me it turned him on rather than make him mad. He wondered why.

He also realized that I was fooling myself by telling myself that I resented his flirting because he could see chemistry at work. He also had noticed for a long time that on days when I had been around Jack I would come home feeling horny. So even though I was blocking my own feelings he realized that I had instinctive animal desires for this guy.

In his imagination he wandered into picturing me doing the guy. Again, rather than jealousy he realized it somehow turned him on. He tried to figure out why.

The reason is THE SAME REASON that it turns you on to see it in porn. In porn men get to see women that LOVE fucking. It turns guys on to see a woman really getting into it. For a wife to really get into fucking some other male it sends an added signal. She is not bound to social sexual taboos. Her love for sex pushes her beyond those concerns. So in porn guys get to see a woman like that. But my husband thought about it and realized that actually watching me fuck would be way more exciting than watching porn.

So my point is that there is a biological urge for both men and women to love sex. Men are often disappointed with sex because woman are so often socially conditioned to think that only sluts enjoy fucking. It is just jealousy that has been socially woven into the male ego that makes men sexually insecure about watching THEIR wife fuck.

In your comment you added the comment "great tits". I am glad that you like them. There is a NATURAL biological reason that you like them. Be honest, would it turn you on to watch me fuck? I do love fucking and I do really get into it. My point is that to my husband that is true whether I am his wife or not. But when we party he not only gets to see it but he can share in the event. So if I was your wife the only thing that could wreck the moment would be jealousy.

As far as your wife goes, most men think their wife would not consider it. My husband did not think I would consider it. I would have said "no way" if he just abruptly asked. But once he sorted it out in his own mind he gradually helped me understand the concept and once I really understood I did not need much coaxing. I think that would be true of most women that enjoy sex. Also, I had fantasies about doing groups of guys since I was a teen. It is a common fantasy among women but how many are going to share that with anyone and especially with their husband?
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For me it comes down to the whole morale code thing. I've been cheated on myself by my ex wife, i also understand that it has been ingrained into who i am that when 2 people are with each other it should just be those two in what i perceive as personally intimate moments. with my first wife we tried the 3 some thing and really was never my cup of tea. My wife and i who i'm now married to have had discussions about this stuff as were completely honest and open about everything, much like you and your husband are. My wife was in a very abusive sexual relationship, and was forced to do things she now regrets. So for us we both have agreed we will keep those intimate things between us and only us. I also don't knock any one who wants to live that lifestyle as i believe everyone has the right to enjoy life the way they want to.

Your very welcome on the apology, i believe as a society we should be able to grow, learn, and see other peoples point of view. we need more open dialog with are fellow humans and be able to have adult conversation.


Now as for your point on would i enjoy watching you fuck.... duh in fact now i cant stop seeing it in my head. Would i want to watch you fuck if you were my wife, who knows. Id be a very different person from whom i am now.... dammit i really cant get out that image of your tits swinging back and forth now, but see i could watch you do that and its ok with my wife becasue its just amatuer porn at that point, and would never put my dick in someone else besides her, and she knows this.


so really i guess it takes diff'rent strokes for different folks.
 
I have to say that I really respect your attitude. So rare these days. I also fully agree that sexual activity can not be "one size fits all." (Pun intended) Each person in any relationship is a unique individual. The dynamics of each couple are likewise unique. To impose what one couple enjoys on other couples would be like an organ transplant. Rejection is going to take place unless LOTS of anti-rejection drugs are taken. So, if it doesn't fit a persons figurative genetics then it would be a mistake to force it. By nature my husband and I are both strong willed, self-confident and not prone to jealousy or insecurity. If any of those traits are missing in either the male or female in a relationship I think it could crash and burn.

At the same time I think that in cases where jealousy and insecurity are the reason that sharing a mate is problematic then working to get past the jealousy and insecurity would be healthy.

To be honest, my husband has never shown any jealousy when I am shared but I did have to battle with some jealous feelings in the early days of sharing him. But I faced my feelings and explored them and I think I came away healthier because of it.

Also, even though I think sexual variety is a natural desire I do think that if both parties in a relationship are getting the amount of sexual activity that they need in a monogamous relationship that it might be best to keep it monogamous. It is easier. There are some complex issues to work through in any human relationship and every time I enter into a new sexual relationship I do find that it can be complicated.

So, enjoy your wife. It sounds like you are well suited for each other and as long as the union is making you both happy that is really the bottom line.
 
shelly2inme said:
I have to say that I really respect your attitude. So rare these days. I also fully agree that sexual activity can not be "one size fits all." (Pun intended) Each person in any relationship is a unique individual. The dynamics of each couple are likewise unique. To impose what one couple enjoys on other couples would be like an organ transplant. Rejection is going to take place unless LOTS of anti-rejection drugs are taken. So, if it doesn't fit a persons figurative genetics then it would be a mistake to force it. By nature my husband and I are both strong willed, self-confident and not prone to jealousy or insecurity. If any of those traits are missing in either the male or female in a relationship I think it could crash and burn.

At the same time I think that in cases where jealousy and insecurity are the reason that sharing a mate is problematic then working to get past the jealousy and insecurity would be healthy.

To be honest, my husband has never shown any jealousy when I am shared but I did have to battle with some jealous feelings in the early days of sharing him. But I faced my feelings and explored them and I think I came away healthier because of it.

Also, even though I think sexual variety is a natural desire I do think that if both parties in a relationship are getting the amount of sexual activity that they need in a monogamous relationship that it might be best to keep it monogamous. It is easier. There are some complex issues to work through in any human relationship and every time I enter into a new sexual relationship I do find that it can be complicated.

So, enjoy your wife. It sounds like you are well suited for each other and as long as the union is making you both happy that is really the bottom line.
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I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Thank for giving me a different perspective of another couples relationship. If you ever feel like having another discussion just hit me up im always excited for another debate.
 
I'm curious to hear your thoughts on polyamory. What you're talking about is just sex. I think if social conventions didn't exist, I could have feelings for more than one woman. I have discussed this with my wife on occasion. How I feel about her has nothing to do with how I feel about another woman. It's kind of like if you have a child, you don't love your wife less, but you love the child in a different way. If you have a second child, you still love your wife like you always have, but now you have a new love as well. I would assume that unless you are having sex with complete strangers that there are some feelings involved along with the sexual aspect...anxious to hear your response.
 
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